Friday, December 21, 2012

Sharsies...

I just have to share my newest most favortist album, if you haven't heard of these guys you need to buy a copy of their first album called Sigh No More & then go buy a copy of their latest album which is called Babel...

Enjoy!


Great musicians, sharing their God given talents with the world.

God is so magical!

Thank-you Lord for your love of music.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

The Christmas Story...

I just had to share this. Adorable!



Enjoy! & Merry Christmas!


Thank-you Lord for sending us your Son, who died for our transgressions & paid the ultimate penalty for all.


Love,
Tanya

Friday, November 23, 2012

Thank-you

It was a crazy lazy day in the Brown home, today there was crafting of every kind. My three boys sat at our dining room table for hours making comic books. My younger daughter sat and pretended to make comic books with them.

Grace poured out all around us today. When God's grace fills your home and heart you savor every moment you can. It is so very rare for three energetic boys to sit and craft for an entire day.

We watched youtube videos, Micheal Jackson's Thriller was one of the many. Lately I've been in the habit of showing my little girl not so girly-girl videos, like p!nk and 4 Non Blondes. I just love watching her react to what she is seeing. She is completely mesmerized by the powerful female images she's seeing, she asks me so many profound questions. I want her to know that she doesn't have to fit into a mold of one kind or another, 
just be you...be bold be brave.

We watched Alanis Morisette's video Thank-you.
If you've never had the chance to watch it, please do.


So of course watching a woman be completely naked in the city had questions flying every where. I had the boys sit and watch this video with me, the crazy beauty of youngsters is that they didn't quite clue in for a good amount of time that she is in fact naked. I asked each of the boys individually why do you think that she is naked in the video, what do you think she is trying to say?

Amazed by their answers, I was compelled to write about them. 

My five year old boy said: 
I think that she is saying Thank-you to God.

My seven year old boy said: 
I think that she is not covering God up.

My nine year old boy said: 
She is telling us that we don't have to be ashamed of the way God made us, because we are all born the same.

My four year old Girl said: 
Why is she singing Thank-you naked on the bus Mommy??? (lol)

Thank-you Alanis Morisette for being brave enough to be vulnerable.

Thank-you to my precious babes for your thoughtful answers and Thank-you to a day that was filled with God's sweet Grace...

Saturday, September 8, 2012

A Day Without Rain...

Oh what a beautiful day it was.
It was simple and magical all at the same time.
There is something to be said about a ceremony 
where two people are vowing 
to walk into the rest of their lives together. 
Good intentions...
It really is all we have.

 09-07-02
engraved in our wedding bands
"a deal is a deal."

We exchanged our promises to love each other eternally.
 Since exchanging those vows we have: 
Cried
Laughed
Yelled
Become 1st time parents
Laughed 
Grown 
Become 2nd time parents
Said unkind things
Laughed
Forgiven often
Become 3rd time parents
Have endured loss
Overcome pain
Made promises that have been broken
Grown
Become 4rth time parents
Cried & laughed some more...

Two imperfect messy people have collided into one imperfect mess,
to keep each other company from now until forever.
We strive daily to live in the glory of his beautiful & perfect grace.

Our wedding song "yellow"


Thank-you Jesus for coming to save us...
Lord only knows how much we need you.

Happy Anniversary to the love of my life!

Love,
Tanya

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

A Floating Leaf...

I've just been swirling around like a leaf blowing in the wind.
I have to remind myself to hold on to the truth, come what may.
Hold on...
Sometimes it's not so easy.
But "I can do all things through him who gives me strength."
Oh precious words of truth, I clothe myself in them daily.


PS. Thank-you Lord, for every season.
Love Tanya

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Blessings Friends

Have a wonderful SunDay!

Thank-you Lord for today.
Love so very much,
Tanya

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Obvious Child...One of my all time faves!

We Jammin!

Blessings to all for a fabulous long weekend!

Thank-you God for good music, family and fun!

Love,
Tanya

Saturday, June 23, 2012

I'm Taking The Plunge!



If you were to tell me years ago that I was going to get baptized at the age of 34, I would have laughed and said; you definitely didn't know anything about me and yeah right that would never happen! Growing up I disliked anything that had to do with the bible or church. I thought that the bible was a hate filled book used to fill people with fear and punishment. I thought that churches were filled with only the "elite, good people". I thought only those who sought comfort in the after life were in need of reading the bible and going to church; and I also thought that it did nothing more than create hypocritical, judgmental people who thought that they were better than anybody who believed otherwise. WOW how the tables have turned and God has pulled my insides out and has exposed me for who I really am: a secretly hate filled person who is in fear of judgement and ridicule, so like everyone else I covered the shame of what lurks deep within by wearing a plastic smile and pretending that everything was just dandy! For years I would say that I'm not hypocritical, I'm not judgmental however, every finger that I would point outward God has made me face, only because he loves me so much and wants me to grow and know his infinite love, so that I can share it with everyone, so that they too can know his immense mercy, love and beautiful bountiful grace...It is in God's nature to grow our hearts and to show us who we really are; and to show us who we can become. He calls us first; to save us and then to show us that we can live without shame, that we can truly walk in the freedom that he has paid for our transgressions. Now that I belong to him, now that I am saved it is time to take the next step in my faith and declare my love out loud for all to see.

Here is my written testimony:

For most of my life I had always felt as though something was missing. I remember praying to God, desperately wanting to know him & have a connection with him but never really knew how to. I always felt as though my prayers were never heard. I went through most of my life with this empty hopeless feeling. I spent the majority of my life feeling angry & incomplete but never  understood why. For many years alcohol & drugs numbed this broken feeling, but in time drugs & alcohol only resulted in poor choices which led to several traumas in my life. I have since been married to a wonderful man with whom I raise four glorious children with. Being a Wife & Mother is a privilege and has matured both my Husband and myself a great deal. Having children certainly helped to put our lives on track and has given us a sense of direction and purpose...but it really never did take away that unknown void in my heart.
Both my Husband and myself thought that it would be beneficial if we made some changes to become more healthy. Along with these changes we thought that it would be a good idea to get to know our community by attending a local church service. Our initial reasons for attending were a little on the superficial side because I wasn't even considering that I might in fact meet God there??? Crazy enough God was the furthest thing from my mind. If you have lived a life without knowing God's grace then you simply don't even consider him. The very first service that we attended I immediately felt fire crackers going off inside of my heart & for the very first time in my life I knew that I was standing in the presence of God's glory and had somehow in an instant come alive. Since I have begun to take this walk in faith, the deep void in my life has been filled and my anger has been replaced with love, hope & peace. Jesus has changed me as a person and a veil has been lifted. A heaviness that I once bore, has been taken from me. I can feel myself growing as a person.
God's words strengthen and encourage me daily. There are times that the pressures of daily living can feel overwhelming, God's words give me assurance and confidence to continue and persevere even when things are hard.
My favorite scripture of all time and the one that I daily measure my heart and my faith with is...

 1st Corinthians 13

If I speak in tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. LOVE NEVER FAILS!

For the first time in my life God has clearly defined love for me and I now know that something so simple is actually quite complicated for the human heart to achieve without the love and guidance of a Savior.

Jesus has given my life true meaning and purpose and for this I am truly grateful. I choose to surrender daily, I ask him to fix all that is broken. I will gladly live in him eternally. He is my one and only Savior, my rock and my redeemer. Jesus asks me only to follow and I gladly will for my whole life through. Though I stumble and fall daily, He continually lifts me up... I am not worthy of the love that has been poured out for me... I need him more than anything else in this world and I will cling to him forever. I will one day be full in Christ and that is the day that I live for.

Thank-you for saving me Lord,
Love forever,
Tanya

Thursday, June 21, 2012

June 21st 1972


Have you ever received that phone call late at night that makes your heart stop beating?
All of a sudden all that I could hear was my own heart beating.
All other noises seemed to completely drain away along with the blood pumping through my veins.
This happened to everyone who knew & loved him six long years ago. Have you heard this saying?: "in time it will get easier"...
really does it EVER get easier???
Isn't that a ridiculous statement?..."it will get easier".
I think the only time that this wrong will ever seem right is when we are all reunited again.
Close to my heart, this is where I keep him.
He is safe there. I protect him there. He comforts me there.
He reminds me to live & laugh & love.
I remember him, not only today but every day from now until forever. I honor him today. I miss him with an ache that grows more & more every year that I don't get to laugh with him or hug him. I've pretended for a long time that he isn't gone in the flesh, that he's on some sort of long trip.
The closer I draw to Jesus, the more I know this to be true. I will hug him again.
We will laugh together again...
for now I must endure the long ache until we meet again.
Today I honor you. Today I remember your life. 
Today I wish you happy birthday. 
Today you are present. Today you are my present. 
I love you. I miss you. You know, I know you know.

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.
In my Father's house are many rooms;
if it were not so, I would have told you.
I am going there to prepare a place for you.
And if I go and prepare a place for you,
I will come back and take you to be with me
 that you also may be where I am.
You know the way to the place where I am going.
John 14:1-4 


8 If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord.
So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.
Romans 14:8

Death is not the end.
Death can never be the end.
Death is the road.
Life is the traveler.
The soul is the guide.
~~~~

I know I will love death.
Why?
Because death too
Is God's creation
And because death reminds me
Of the existence of her sister:  
Infinity's Life immortal.
~ Sri Chinmoy ~

PS. Thank-you Dear Lord for the very precious gifts you give.
~ Happy Birthday Jason ~
We will love you forever & always,
Tanya

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Happy Fargers Day!

Anyone can be a Farger it takes someone 
truly special to become a Dad
Author Unknown

Happy Fargers Day! 
To all of the wonderful men out there
who love & support their families.
Blessings to all!
 
Thank-you Lord,
for the good men in my life 
& of course for the very best man in my life.
Love,
Tanya

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

~ June ~

My love is rich.
My love is plentiful.
My cup is full...
The harvest is ripe.
I will reap what I sow.
I love this month of June.
It has been dedicated.
I will dedicate myself this month.
I will die to my flesh.
I will rebirth into love eternally.
I specifically chose you.
I will reap what I sow...
I will always love you.



Thank-you Lord.
Love,
Tanya

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Clean Slate


The slate has been wiped,
but is it truly clean?
For you alone see the things that are unseen.
Thank-you Lord for forgiving me for all of my mistakes.
Thank-you Lord for wiping my tears & enduring all my aches.
New life can only be found in you alone.
Please forgive me when I waver & question your throne.
Will I truly have a seat in the highest place?...
or am I accountable for all of my mistakes?
Do you love me unconditionally the way that I believe?
or am I living in a world that truly does deceive?
Do you condemn?...
or do you truly love?...
I know that I must walk in light to make my way above.
Our human hearts were made by your hand.
So my transgressions, I know you understand.
Thank-you Father for loving me enough to bare the cross
Forgive me Father for sometimes I just can't bare the loss...

Love forever & always,
Tanya

Monday, June 11, 2012

~ Motivational Mondays ~

I've been humming this for a while now....
I just thought I'd share what's been stewing in this heart of mine.

Thank-you God please carry me through another week.
Love,
Tanya

Sunday, June 10, 2012

~ inspirational Sundays ~




May we all fall on our knees and give thanks with all of our heart, mind, body and soul to the Lord of all creation forever and ever 
~ Amen ~

Thank-you Father for the unbelievable love that you have poured out for us all.
Love forever and always,
Tanya

Saturday, June 9, 2012

~ The Call Of Jeremiah ~

Sometimes things just don't work out the way we think they will.
I have been praying earnestly everyday for months, I really thought that God had spoken into my heart & had guided me directly to the place where my prayers would be answered.
Sometimes things just don't work out the way we think they will...
Even though I have faith that God knows best, that doesn't mean that my heart didn't sink with disappointment when I found out that my ways aren't God's ways. That is such an abstract concept for me. It's hard to grasp that sometimes even when my heart is in the very right place it doesn't mean that what I am praying for is God's will. Hurtful?...yes. Disappointing?...yes. Heart breaking?...yes.
God is in fact in the business of heart rebuilding/repairing,
so sometimes heart breaking just has to happen in order to repair/rebuild what is broken.
And so I will continue to pray, perhaps this prayer won't be answered in the exact way that I am praying for, only God knows.
With my heart aching, I reached for my bible for some words to soothe...late at night while the house was still,
this is what God spoke into my aching heart:

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

"Ah Sovereign Lord," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child."
But the Lord said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the Lord.
Then the Lord reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant." ~ Amen ~


I went to bed, peace restored in my heart by the words of God. When I woke up this morning my oldest boy asked if he could play his iPod, you know how kids are; before I could even say not right now, it was turned on. Somehow his bible application began speaking, I could not believe what I was hearing; it was the very same scripture I went to bed reading! I knew the very moment I heard it that God was saying: "it's okay Kiddo, I'm right here & guess what?...I know what is best for you & for everyone else too. I love you & I always will. You keep on little one, you are growing stronger in your faith every day....I'm listening. I'm listening. I hear your pleas. I know your heart...I will give you exactly what you need."

Thank-you Lord for your soothing words of comfort & love.
Love,
Tanya

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

~Do it Anyway~

 Image Detail
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered' 
~FORGIVE THEM ANYWAY~
If you are kind people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
~BE KIND ANYWAY~
If you are successful you will win some false friends 
and some true enemies;
~SUCCEED ANYWAY~
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
~BE HONEST AND FRANK ANYWAY~
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
~BUILD ANYWAY~
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
~BE HAPPY ANYWAY~
The good you do today, people will forget tomorrow;
~DO GOOD ANYWAY~
Give the world the best you have, and it may NEVER be ENOUGH;
~GIVE THE WORLD THE BEST YOU'VE GOT...ANYWAY~

~Sweet Mother Teresa~
1910 - 1997

Saturday, May 26, 2012

~Happy Birthday Little Miss Sunshine!~

4 years ago today I delivered this precious little miracle, 9 weeks premature. We just didn't know what to expect when you're expecting. She was a mystery from the get go. 4 strong pounds & 11 small ounces is all she weighed, she almost fit in one hand. Everything about her was petite & powerful, for only being 4 pounds she was durable & easy to care for. She rarely fussed or made a peep, she was content & easy to please. She delighted us from the start, when I found out that we were having a girl I sobbed & cried out "God is good". God knows our hearts & gives us what we need...& heaven knows in a world of 3 rambunctious boys who NEVER stop...I prayed for a girl! God answered our prayers & gave us the sweetest little angel our eyes had ever laid upon. I have to say that she IS 3 boys in one little body! She keeps us hoppin, if there's ever a quiet moment in our house...
EVERYBODY will simultaneously say "WHERE'S JACKIE?!"
~Happy Birthday Sweet Little Miss Sunshine!~
We love you forever & always.

PS. Thank-you God for all of our answered prayers.
Love,
Tanya

Friday, May 25, 2012

A Hunk, A Hunk a Burn'n Love!

Eat your hearts out ladies...
He's ALL mine!

 This is my little hunk a hunk a burn'n love! What he's cookin up in the kitchen is adorable perfection with a sprinkle of sweet lovin! This little man has such a sweet heart, he's my cute little helper bee in the kitchen. I am always greeted with an adorable smile & an offering of "Mommy can I help?" Yes my little sweetness pot pie, as long as you wash your little frog holding hands first. These are the most precious moments of my life...Slow down. Slow down & smell what is cooking in the kitchen. My heart hurts to think that this little man will one day be a grown man cooking for his wife & children...
Hopefully we'll be invited for a dinner or two...


PS. Thank-you God for precious moments such as these.
Love always,
Tanya

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Fly Birdy Fly...

Oh how our hearts have sung a happy tune for this little Mother Robin & her three Chicks. It all began so unexpectedly when a little Mother Robin decided that our kitchen window would be the perfect peaceful place to build a nest & lay her beloved eggs. I thanked her immediately & asked God to bless her strenuous endeavor & to guide those Chicks to safety with his loving hands of grace. So began our little Spring love affair with a precious Mother Robin & her sweet little Chicks. Every day we admired & encouraged. There wasn't a moment in our home this Spring that we didn't forget to thank Mother Robin for all of her efforts for her babies to be. I believe that our love & encouragement did not go unnoticed, because every now & then we were honored with a sweet little melody. Thank-you Mother Robin...NOT ONCE did you EVER complain that the work load was more than you could bare, when your little babes hatched & ALL you did day in & day out was forage food for little babies whose mouths hung open in desperation waiting for your safe return. We prayed. We encouraged,
but above all we LOVED & love NEVER FAILS!



Our little Sonny sat looking out his bedroom window for an hour and a half watching this little baby fly for the first time. Sonny watched with such intensity that you could see his little heart bulging in his throat. He said "Mommy he's just a baby, he's too little to fly" I told him that right at this very moment that little Chick is having the biggest conversation with God of his little new life. We spoke about God's love & the voice within that says "you can do it" even when you think you can't. I told Sonny to pray for him with all of his love & all of his heart, Sonny agreed. Two minutes later that little baby Robin flew away into the rest of his life. At the very moment that this little Robin listened to the voice of God & had the courage to fly, Sonny cheered with such joy that I knew at that very moment faith had been born into his heart. Thank-you Mother Robin, you gave us so many precious gifts this Spring...
we will never forget you & your little precious babes.

PS. Thank-you God for your grace it is so perfect & so full.
Love forever,
Tanya

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

~Thank-you Queen Victoria!~

 This past long weekend was spent doing so many fabulous activities that it felt extra long & the memories that were made & shared together will forever be engraved on our hearts. 
There was a moment during "shmarshmallow" roasting that we could all feel the presence of God resting his peace & love upon us. Thank-you Queen Victoria for the sleep in & the extra family time spent together. We had fires, roasted "shmarshmallows", listened to music, danced, visited with Grandma's & Poppa's & Auntie's & Cousins & marveled in God's perfect grace all weekend long...
we let the worries of the world melt away.
There is something so special about the love of cousins,
we had seven little people play merrily (for the most part)
together & it brought such joy into our hearts.
Here are a few stand out memories...
IMG_1118.JPG
Our "Sweethearts"
IMG_1097.JPG
Roasting "shmarshmallows"
IMG_1106.JPG
The "Birfday Boy"
IMG_1100.JPG
Me & my Miss's

IMG_1103.JPG 
Thank-you God for Cousins, 
please bless them all the days of their lives.
Thank-you Queen Victoria we enjoyed your special day thoroughly!
Love,
Tanya

Friday, May 18, 2012

~Happy Birthday Nathan~

 
You are the very best,
person/man/friend/husband/father/son/son-in-law/
brother/brother-in-law/uncle...
that anyone could EVER have.
We are SO blessed to have you in our lives,
& I wouldn't have it any other way.
God is good...
I am not worthy...
You are far more than I prayed for...
as a young girl I would fantasize about the man 
that I would have in my life, 
you have exceeded my imagination 
& for this I will forever be grateful!
Thank-you Nathan for loving me like no other.
Today we honor you...
~Happy Birthday~
May all of your birthday wishes come true.

PS. Thank-you God for the love of my life.
Love,
Tanya

This Moment

Joining Amanda & friends in  {this moment}

  A Friday ritual.

  capturing a moment from the week. 

A simple, special, extraordinary moment. 

A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

 

Have a gorgeous weekend everyone!

PS. Thank-you God for our beautiful week.

Love,

Tanya

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Take a chance on me!

This is such a feel good video, 
it just never gets old...
Every time I watch this I get so veclemped!
Talk amongst yourselves...
Doesn't it just make you wanna run out
& adopt a pet...
or perhaps just donate???

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

A Very Busy Weekend in Pictures...

WOW...These were off the hook ridiculous!

Enjoying a snuggle with my little "Party Girl" at a Bridal Shower

Taking the time out of his busy day to slow down & read to a youngster

Planting a Cranberry Bush for little old me!

Bahama Mama's For the Mama's

Kicked back & Relaxed!

"Grills Dig Me"

Refreshing the gardens...

My little men hard at work...

Watering the flowers...

& being quite adorable while doing so

Getting our hands dirty...
Thank-you for all of your efforts to make the Women in your lives feel honored & loved this weekend. Each of you touched my heart & made me feel special. I felt truly blessed to have spent my time with all of you. The work that my Husband did this weekend to honor me was incredible! & having our boys help out turning gardens to wish me a happy mother's day...
What precious men I have in my life. God is good...Thank-you! Thank-you! Thank-you!

PS. Thank-you Lord for Mothers. All Mother's everywhere & a BIG Thank-you for Husbands & children & blessings &...
Love: Tanya

Saturday, May 12, 2012

~Happy Mother's Day~



With much love & adoration I write these simple words to you.
You have rocked & soothed my heart my entire life through.
You even had the courage to completely let me go...
& for this very reason my heart began to grow.
I could never be the woman who I am today,
if you did not go through your trials to forage & make a way.
I stand firmly on the ground,
from a small seed that you had planted...
God's grace has shown up, the gift of eternal life's been granted.
Everything you EVER did has carried me this far,
don't EVER underestimate the power of your heart.
I humbly say thank-you,
with forgiveness in my heart...
please join with me in eternity...
so we shall never part.

Happy Mothers Day Mom,
I will love you eternally.

PS. Thank-you God for my Mother
Love,
Tanya

To Surrender or Not To Surrender?


butterfly, forest, mexico, monarch, national geographic, nature


Should I surrender?
Surrender what?
How do I surrender?
Is it good to surrender?
What is surrender?

Definition of Surrender:
  1. To relinquish possession or control of to another because of demand or compulsion.
  2. To give up in favor of another.
  3. To give up or give back (something that has been granted):
  4. To give up or abandon: surrender all hope.
  5. To give over or resign (oneself) to something, as to an emotion: surrendered himself to grief.  
  6. verb (used without object) to give oneself up, as into the power of another; submit or yield.


Surrendering for me is giving up control & living only for love, dying to the flesh & living in Christ.  The old me is slowly dying...Sometimes it can be quite painful. Most days it's invigorating to know that a new me is emerging. I really am in a cocoon like state slowly transforming...I will one day emerge into full bloom & become the "butterfly" I was created to be...This is when my eternal self, my true self will be full in Christ. Every day is a new day & each step I take, I am drawing closer to God. Living only for love is not as easy as you may think, it often hurts & it rarely makes sense in a world that quite often contradicts the true meaning of love. Love, the true measure of love is not totally valued here on earth or even completely understood for that matter. I believe that we are eternal beings & I also believe that we are here for the sole purpose to love & to be loved. Not an easy task when we are bombarded with "so much to do & so little time"...I don't believe those lies. I think we believe a lot of "things" that we just shouldn't believe. I don't think that we were ever born for the purposes that our world has conditioned us to believe we've been created for. I think that creation is always speaking to us, striving to converse with us...ask yourself these questions ~ Am I listening? ~ What is God speaking in my life? ~ Who is in control? ~ Do you think that you were born to bare the weight of this world alone? ~ 
One question that a great pastor asked us was ~ "If God created the universe...so vast & so infinite & thought of EVERY last detail from an atom to the cocooning of a butterfly...why wouldn't he also create a way for us to know & reach him?" Were we really created out of some sort of mathematical cosmic science concoction, explosion, star dust, big bang thinga magingy???...I'm no mathematical genius but the odds of that mathematical equation actually happening & creating the entire universe & EVERYTHING in it is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE! SO...I've just begun a journey to a place where I don't really know where I'm going to or where I'll end up...but my heart is alive & beating with a fervor that I have never felt before because for the first time in my life I am ALIVE really ALIVE...I guess that really is why they call it "born again" Jesus really does make your heart beat faster! All those questions above, only made me question everything else in my life...My heart knows the truth & the only answer as simple as it sounds is LOVE! & really it's the MOST complicated thing EVER. I choose surrender. Surrender is saying I'm not in control. I need help! I can't do this life deal alone! Why on earth would I be created to bare this burden of life alone??? 
OH what's that God?...I'm not alone???...you're with me 
EVERY step of the way???...you love me??? 
You died for my salvation???...You paid the price for my transgressions??? THANK-YOU! Of course you have a plan, you're the creator of the UNIVERSE!!! What kind of ego would think that the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE doesn't have a plan for us??? 
No wait, God this is really the plan...oh it's not???...
how about this???...not that either huh?...
Oh YOU are in control...I keep forgetting, please forgive me. So daily I mess up & daily I am renewed by the spirit, refreshed in Christ to die another day.

Love,
Tanya

     

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Grace & Forgiveness

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An Oprah "Full Circle Moment" took place in our home today.
My two older boys have a tumultuous relationship & have a difficult time finding common ground with each other. Some of the tension they face in their relationship is due to sibling jealousy. My younger boy easily expresses his emotions of joy, compassion, upsets etc. My older boy has a difficult time expressing himself freely, he has to work hard for everything in life...writing is difficult...reading is difficult...drawing is difficult...emotions are difficult. He watches his younger brother read with ease, write without straining, draw & color beautifully, express himself freely~ and he thinks to himself ~ why is it so easy for him & so hard for me??? Often times great offenses occur  due to this "Cain & Able" pairing in our home. Feelings are bruised & hearts get torn & stained with hurtful words. One just wants to be loved & accepted by his older brother, the other wishes so badly that life were as easy for him as the other makes it appear to be. How do you take two completely different human beings & make them see eye to eye? If you are reading this & have answers please share. This is the kind of stuff that can break families down. I pray all the time that the separation between them won't grow to be too great. I believe in love. I believe that love can heal their scarred hearts... A car door slams and a broken heart comes in the house. The anticipation of going to be your big brothers cheerleader on his big day are all but crushed with harsh words & ill tempered hands. Crying in his room, this is what he shared...
"my brother is mean to me and I cry over it and I go to my bedroom"
We spoke about how brave & healthy it is to help heal your heart by sharing your feelings & writing about them. We talked about Gods love for us & about forgiveness...We talked. He shared. We listened. He gave us a gift in his brokenness...we got to share our hurts & sorrows, we got to have an authentic parenting moment with him. Alone. Uninterrupted. God's beautiful & perfect grace showed up at just the right time, just like it always does and we marveled in it with him. We spoke about the power of prayer & forgiveness. He thanked his Daddy for taking him to run some simple errands & for his special treat. An older brother proudly came home from a successful karate class ~ waving his flashy yellow belt around ~ Sad little eyes reappeared reminded of the sting on his hand & the burn in his heart. I get a quiet moment alone with him after much praise over a job well done & tell him about a story that I had read earlier here about how “It’s not that you aren’t going to blow it. It’s what you do with it afterwards.” I tell him this & he asks me to call his little brother into the room & he softly whispers "I'm sorry I hurt you"...His little eyes look relieved & he whispers back "I forgive you"...they even hugged! Today we relished in God's sweet, beautiful, perfect grace & forgave each other for blowing it.

PS. Thank-you Father for forgiveness.
Love,
Tanya

Monday, May 7, 2012

~ Words Unspoken ~


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You are the well from which 
I drink.
You are the dream from which 
I think.
You are the rock upon which 
I stand.
You are 
in control...
you have my hand.
Your will be done,
you are more than gold.
In you,
I shelter from the cold.
You will carry me,
when i fall down.
You will love me,
when others frown.
I will choose you,
every day.
I am yours, 
in every way.
Carry me,
when I am broken.
I love you lord,
in words unspoken.

PS. Thank-you for your Grace.
Love,
Tanya

Thursday, May 3, 2012

This Week We...

Lived on the edge!

Got to hold a baby.

Flew some airplanes.


Made some new friends.







BBQ'D "Man Styles"
Roasted some marshmallows!


Listened to the sounds of nature.

Enjoyed some brotherly love.
Enjoyed a GORGEOUS Harbor bike ride.

Rode free of cares or worries.




Tyson said: Mom they should at least put signs outside saying there might be snakes out here!!! Like DUH???

Basically really enjoyed each others time & companionship

PS. Thank-you God for all of our many blessings!
Love,
Tanya

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Favorite Things!

Again...NOT original! Super easy! Super fun!

Step 1) (like this is necessary!) Trace or freehand a favorite cartoon character. 

Step 2) (okay so I have nothing else to blog about today!) Cut out said cartoon character.

Step 3) (please don't judge me!) Glue said cartoon character on a Popsicle stick.

Step 4) (there really is no step four!) Enjoy the countless hours of fun with said cartoon character.

My children actually really enjoy these Popsicle stick characters. I make paper princesses or Luigi's for Jackie, my kids will play with these "guys" for hours (okay again...hours in a home filled with loud noise & hyperactivity is not realistic!) more like an hour! Give it a try, perhaps if there is anyone reading this blog aside from my good friend Krista you can share some of your fun creative ideas with me, or you can check out her wicked & fun crafty ideas...
I would love to hear from you! (you as well Krista!)

PS. Thank-you God for simplicity!
Love,
Tanya


Tuesday, May 1, 2012

~ My Broken Crown ~

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I will remove the crown 
upon my head,
which I call ego.
I humbly place it at your feet,
without you Lord 
I am dead.
Fill my heart with your beauty.
I kneel 
before the cross,
broken & bruised.
Thanking Christ for his gift of life.
How does one ever say thank-you
for the gift of eternal life?
Who is worthy of such a gift?
Not I. Not I.
I will say it everyday,
I will sit in silence,
& I will pray.
You speak to me like the ocean,
I hear your voice...
so pure & true,
it sways in & out like a tide...
whispering softly...
I love you...
I love you...
I love you.
I whisper back...
Thank-you...
Thank-you...
Thank-you. 

PS. Thank-you Lord
love,
Tanya

Monday, April 30, 2012

Motivational Mondays ~ Clean Heart ~

This week, I will focus my heart on love. I will put love into action, inspired by the one & only Mother of all Mother's...Mother Teresa. In her life's work she would often talk about how we don't need fantastic big ideas to make an impact on people, we simply need to love them. We can start in our very own homes, with our very own families. If there are broken relationships within our families, we should repair these if we can. I am motivated this week to knock the socks right off of love! I am going to LOVE BIG...like it's nobodies business! Let's move forward this week being selfless in love. May we all look to the self sacrifices that have been made for our freedom because of so many peoples courageous efforts to love the world bigger. I love you Mother Teresa! This week is an homage to a beautiful soul who dedicated her entire life to loving ALL of God's Children. This is my Motivational Monday & I will LOVE BIG!
PS. Thank-you God for your Saints of Love
Love,
Tanya

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Inspirational Sundays ~ Grace ~

Today I remember a Saint.
PS. Thank-you Dear Lord for your beautiful angels of love.
PPS. Thank-you Mother Teresa for your tireless years of 
service & self sacrifice.
Love so very much,
Tanya

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Pink Pajamas???

I had gone to work & on my break I called my Hubby to check in and see how his evening was going with the kiddies. Hubby said good!...& then told me that he had been cleaning out the garage (like most men watching children would do) when he came across some running shoes that belonged to our older boy. He brought them into the house & upon seeing them Little Williams eyes lit up & asked: "are those shoes for meee???!" Anything new in our house of old is very exciting! My Hubby said: "you can try them on but I think they might be a little big for you buddy". So William tried the shoes on & of course he clomped around in ridiculously over sized shoes, telling Daddy how "cumpterbull" they are. My Hubby quickly made the "man" mistake of telling him right away in a flat tone of voice (of course) that "they don't fit, take them off"...which all women know leads to...a severe let down & tears. My Hubby had tried to put this fire out by coming up the stairs with everyone's pajamas in hand & telling William to "calm down because Daddy got you some NEW PJ'S!" William wiping away his tears of devastation that his feet are now somehow deformed & underdeveloped looked with wide eyes, dug down real deep to get over his upset & said "oh WOW Daddy! Thank-you!" Instead of grabbing the pj's from the bottom of the pile, he grabbed the very first one from the top of the pile (which were not intended to be his "new pj's"). Before I go any further, I have to say that this little boy's sweet innocence just melts my heart. Even after brotherly pressures of teasing, this little man stood his ground & insisted that "Daddy got me new peejamas cause the shoes don't fit me & he wanted me to feel better!" He has been taunted relentlessly, I have even suggested that they might be a tad too small?...but his answer is a very firm "no Daddy bought them for me & I love them". I even snapped a picture of him & showed it to him in hopes that he might see with his own eyes that they are ill fitting...& pink! But after seeing the pictures his response was: "OOH I "wike" my smile in this one"
So I won't make you wait any longer, here are Williams NEW PAJAMAS!...
(His little sister Jackie's pajamas)
I just love a confident little man in pink!

PS. Thank-you Lord for his unwavering 
confidence & masculine security
Love,
Tanya