Thursday, May 10, 2012

Grace & Forgiveness

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An Oprah "Full Circle Moment" took place in our home today.
My two older boys have a tumultuous relationship & have a difficult time finding common ground with each other. Some of the tension they face in their relationship is due to sibling jealousy. My younger boy easily expresses his emotions of joy, compassion, upsets etc. My older boy has a difficult time expressing himself freely, he has to work hard for everything in life...writing is difficult...reading is difficult...drawing is difficult...emotions are difficult. He watches his younger brother read with ease, write without straining, draw & color beautifully, express himself freely~ and he thinks to himself ~ why is it so easy for him & so hard for me??? Often times great offenses occur  due to this "Cain & Able" pairing in our home. Feelings are bruised & hearts get torn & stained with hurtful words. One just wants to be loved & accepted by his older brother, the other wishes so badly that life were as easy for him as the other makes it appear to be. How do you take two completely different human beings & make them see eye to eye? If you are reading this & have answers please share. This is the kind of stuff that can break families down. I pray all the time that the separation between them won't grow to be too great. I believe in love. I believe that love can heal their scarred hearts... A car door slams and a broken heart comes in the house. The anticipation of going to be your big brothers cheerleader on his big day are all but crushed with harsh words & ill tempered hands. Crying in his room, this is what he shared...
"my brother is mean to me and I cry over it and I go to my bedroom"
We spoke about how brave & healthy it is to help heal your heart by sharing your feelings & writing about them. We talked about Gods love for us & about forgiveness...We talked. He shared. We listened. He gave us a gift in his brokenness...we got to share our hurts & sorrows, we got to have an authentic parenting moment with him. Alone. Uninterrupted. God's beautiful & perfect grace showed up at just the right time, just like it always does and we marveled in it with him. We spoke about the power of prayer & forgiveness. He thanked his Daddy for taking him to run some simple errands & for his special treat. An older brother proudly came home from a successful karate class ~ waving his flashy yellow belt around ~ Sad little eyes reappeared reminded of the sting on his hand & the burn in his heart. I get a quiet moment alone with him after much praise over a job well done & tell him about a story that I had read earlier here about how “It’s not that you aren’t going to blow it. It’s what you do with it afterwards.” I tell him this & he asks me to call his little brother into the room & he softly whispers "I'm sorry I hurt you"...His little eyes look relieved & he whispers back "I forgive you"...they even hugged! Today we relished in God's sweet, beautiful, perfect grace & forgave each other for blowing it.

PS. Thank-you Father for forgiveness.
Love,
Tanya

2 comments:

  1. YAY!!!! you parent with such grace.... success!

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  2. Thank-you Krista...Your parenting is a source of true inspiration for me. Monkee see Monkee do! xo

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