Sunday, April 14, 2013

The Faith Of Abraham

Leap of faith 

This is what I read in Church this morning,

Romans 4

Abraham was, humanly speaking, the founder of our Jewish nation. What did he discover about being made right with God? If his good deeds had made him acceptable to God, he would have had something to boast about. But that was not God's way. For the Scriptures tell us, "Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his faith."
  When people work, their wages are not a gift, but something they have earned. But people are counted as righteous, not because of their faith in God who forgives sinners. David also spoke of this when he described the happiness of those who are declared righteous without working for it:

"Oh, what joy for those
  whose disobedience is forgiven,
  whose sins are put out of sight.
Yes, what joy for those
  whose record the Lord has cleared of

I have been feeling lousy about my life lately. Confessing this as a Believer in Christ, really doesn't line up with who I am in Him. But it's the truth & speaking truth out loud, can set us free. My truth is that since the tender age of thirteen I have struggled with alcoholism. My name is Tanya & I am an alcoholic. This may shock some of my readers, as some of my readers are close friends & family members. I NEVER talk about this struggle, EVER. I keep it locked away in a very dark place inside of my heart, where it burns & brings me to shame and tears. I want to be NORMAL. I don't want this inside raging battle. God is showing me that this IS my CROSS to bare. The only way that this deep wound will heal, is for me to TRUST Him and set it free. I will take a small step in FAITH, pick up my VERY heavy Cross & TRUST that God IS working in and through my life. When alcohol rears it's ugly head in my life, I get lost and consumed in it. I am a very good hider. I have concealed this secret for a very long time and this time I will listen to God and obey what He is speaking in my life, it is time to set this secret free. I must TRUST Him and put this in the light so that I may be healed.

There are no good works that I can do to gain the love that He has already poured out for me. I will speak the truth, put all darkness into His light and He shall set me free and finally heal what is so very broken. The veil is gone. The shame is undone. I am FREE. I will TRUST. I will HOPE. I will have FAITH. He will do ALL that He has promised. I will BELIEVE.

Thank-you Lord,


1 comment:

  1. Wow. Wow. Tanya this is "RottenqueerChristian's" partner Russ. I don't know where to begin. First of all, I am BLOWN AWAY again by your honesty, your search for truth, your incredible self, and quite frankly, the way it is apparent that God is truly working in your life. But before I elaborate (with my own two cents), I'd like you to know that I too am an alcoholic. Tanya, in my case I have progressed enough to actually call myself a chronic alcoholic. I know your pain. I know it too well and, perhaps, even more than you do; but who am I to say. I only write this because I so very much want you to know that your search inspires a 'wretch' like me so much. You are, "knocking, and the door will be opened." In my case I don't think I have been honest enough with myself enough yet. Even now. But Tanya I read your honesty, your love, your search, and I am humbled. I am feeling His love, because I am feeling His love in your life. Perhaps because I'm not "there" yet? I don't know. I feel Him because of your desire to share and be honest.
    The "dark place in you heart" is being introduced and invited to the Light. There will be obstacles. I pray that I can get to the place you are now. I pray for you because you can help us. The rest of us all.
    You are a very good hider, you said. So are most alcoholics. You are not alone. But for some reason I think you are. In a good way; I hope you get that.
    Your last paragraph practically brings me to my knees.
    Normally we say, " May God bless you." In your case, God is. He Has, He is, and he will forever.
    With gratitude,