Wednesday, July 23, 2014

I've got to let you go


What do you see when you look at me? Who am I to you? I guess I'll never truly know. I guess you'll never really know who I am. I'm hurt because, you never took the time to get to know me. You always told me right from wrong, but never followed your own rules. We were a burden, we were too heavy of a load for you to carry, you always made that clear. We bled you dry. Your best was never enough and it still isn't. Your intentions as "good" as they were, always fell short. It's too bad that it just didn't work out. 
I've gotta learn to let "things"/"it"/"you"/"them" go. I have to. It's breaking me down, consuming me and wearing me out. I'm tired now and I need a rest. I'll give it to Him, He can carry the load, He said so and He always speaks the truth. His burden is light and His yoke is easy. I'll pray for you until the day I die, it pains me deeply to say that. 
I have to re-learn life/love/happiness and what it means to live fully. He'll teach me, His ways aren't my ways. His ways are higher than my ways. I'm learning to listen to His voice but far better, I'm learning to obey His commands. And so although you will never truly know me or even care to know me, I'm learning to forgive you and I'm learning how to truly love you in spite of everything. 

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